Clients may have never thought of life without their problems.
Jackie looked puzzled as I asked her a few questions about her future…..
‘What will life be like without that old anxiety?
‘errrr, well……………..I’m not sure.’
‘Take time to let the part of you that does know have a say’
‘I guess I will be able to enjoy life more’
Ok, so we had take off but I asked a few more questions to get more detail.
‘What are the main things you will notice that are different?’
‘Take me through a day when you can go to work and feel calm.’
Jackie suddenly seemed to connect with her future and was able to start to describe in great detail how different life would be.
She described a variety of positive emotions and how they would enable her to act differently. Jackie said she would have choices and more freedom to do the things she used to love.
I noticed a warm glow flowing over her face, a smile crept in and her eyes began to look glazed as she fully engaged in that future.
The physical changes I noticed were the result of Jackie’s neurochemistry adapting and reacting to her present thoughts. She was literally reprogramming her brain to expect and experience this future.
After a few more minutes of building and building this future scenario, I asked her to let her eyes close and then used her words and the information I had gathered to take Jackie into a deep trance.
In that time her inner world became real and her brain made new connections as if that future were happening in that very moment.
It won’t come as any surprise that after one session Jackie felt a profound shift in the way she felt on a day-to-day basis.
Most clients who choose to see you – want change like Jackie did.
By the time a person sits in front of you, they will have made a decision that they don’t want life to continue as it is. Whether it’s getting over the loss of a significant relationship, trauma, illness or just have gotten tired with the old habits. They are tired of the predictable reactions that bring uncomfortable feelings and limit their life choices
Your clients will focus on moving away from a problem, and may not have thought about a future without the problem.
Tony Robbins wrote:
“All human behaviour revolves around the urge gain pleasure or avoid pain. You pull away from a lighted match in order to avoid the pain of burning your hand. You sit and watch a beautiful sunset because you get pleasure from the glorious celestial show as day glides into night.”
At first our clients will be largely in the ‘pulling away’ mode and it’s our job to help create the subconscious blueprints that naturally motivate them towards a preferred future.
To create a different life experience, the process of change is made so much easier if a person knows what they are moving towards. As a therapist I have seen many clients suddenly become energized, engrossed. Totally getting a sense of loving what they are going towards when they hit the sweet spot of what is possible.
Why should you help your client create and focus on their future?
- Helping your clients to envisage a goal, then create how that life will look and feel, dramatically increases the likelihood of that happening. It’s to do with the Law Of Attraction – meaning we get what we focus on.
- It frees up energy used to concentrate on the problem to be available to create the future. Helps to un-stick the problem.
- Increases their motivation to change.
- Makes the clients more self aware of what they need to action to make that future happen.
- Creates the expectation that life will be different – like the placebo effect.
- Seeing a brighter tomorrow increases motivation to take the actions that promote and consolidate change.
- Mental rehearsal is where your inner thoughts are more real than your outer environment. So by asking questions about what life will be like in the future without the problem, you enable the other person to connect with the future – just like Jackie. Ok, so you aren’t going to ask these questions too early in the consultation or it will jeopardise your rapport. But if you don’t do it you may miss a golden opportunity to help your client experience the change they are longing for.
- Ask questions about what that future will look and feel like. Who will notice the differences? What will be most reassuring or enjoyable?
- Feedback sensory details about their future to them.
- If you do hypnosis take them through a closed eye hypnotic induction where they vividly access that future. Even if you don’t do formal hypnosis you can just ask them to imagine that future even more deeply while they close their eyes. During which you can feedback more of what they have told you.
- Prime the client to expect change as a natural thing that can happen to any human, including them! Give examples of anything that demonstrates a real switch in behaviour and experience. Such as someone craving cigarettes but after a hypnotic session they no longer want one
- Help the client create a future they are looking forward to by asking questions that presume change. ‘What will life be like when you (describe life without the problem) are free from the old anxiety?
- Ask questions until you get a full sensory description of that future. On an energetic level this initiates the vibration of what they do want.
Like Jackie, your clients will be largely focused on what’s not working. So when you enable them to direct the power of their imagination to create a desired future, you are opening up the gates of potential for your client.