We can all get bogged down with the mass of information a client gives us. Sifting through the detail to find a solution, can feel like wading through treacle. Sessions can become overwhelming, upsetting for the client and it’s easy for the most experienced professional to feel ‘stuck.’ If you have ever felt as if you are going around in circles with a client or feel drained after a client session, then solution focused therapy skills could be the answer. I have certainly found it to be the most powerful form of psychotherapy in promoting rapid and long lasting change. I have taught brief therapy to teachers, social workers, human resource managers, doctors and business people. And use the skills in every day situations from dealing with tantrum filled youngsters to negotiating a business contract. However although I write about how the skills help therapists doing one to one work in this blog, the skills can be flexibly applied in many different professions. What is solution focused brief therapy? Solution focused brief therapy concentrates on a preferred future rather than the problem. It is goal orientated practical and recognises that the client has resources and strengths that will contribute to the solution. You are encouraged to talk about past experiences only in order to construct a way forward, and highlight the client’s skills and resources. Solution focused therapy has basic understandings such as Read more »
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Trying to make a decision? – When not to trust your instincts
June had come to see me because she was feeling stressed. Unhappy in her present job she was initially delighted when offered a dream promotion in a new company. Through a series of interviews June had triumphed over one hundred and four candidates. However after two unexpected redundancies in eight years she had become doubtful of her abilities and worried if she was ‘good enough’ to fulfill the new role. Although both past employers had to make huge cutbacks because of the recession and were loath to let June go; she had taken the redundancies personally. Constantly battling with feelings of being a failure and worrying in case it should happen again caused her to become anxious when thinking about work. With this in mind I was not surprised to hear June say that it was her ‘instinct’ to turn down the new job offer and stay with her present company. My instinct was that she was making the wrong decision because June was making a decision based on fear. Instinct can be a wonderful human skill that helps us to make decisions about people and our environment. Instinct is fed and influenced by a myriad of things – from the smallest of human facial movements to a persons tone of voice, beliefs, goals and past experience. However fear can crowd out this rich multi layered stream of information. If ‘fear’ had a job it would be to keep you safe Fear is part of our human experience for a very good reason. When in danger you need to act quickly. Any deliberation can sometimes mean the difference between life and death. So nature has given you the ability to cut off rational thought and act from primitive instincts when feeling threatened. When your body has an inkling of a situation being threatening it roars into action cascading your body with chemicals that send you into fight or flight. This means that you become physically stronger, can run faster and pack a heavier punch. Great if you want to escape from a hungry lion, or fight off an attacker but horribly debilitating if you are trying to make a decision about a job offer. Read more »
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Rewind Technique – one day training Friday September 9th 2011
Sometimes even the most experienced of therapists can wonder why a stressed client does not make progress. It can be like Groundhog Day as your client returns to tell you they are still feeling anxious and depressed. Could it be that PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) or a phobic condition is to blame? ‘Barry sought the help of a counselor as he was feeling depressed. Although he was forty-three he sat shaking and in tears as he recalled the bullying he had received from his father when he was a young boy. His life had been characterized by periods of unemployment, alcoholism, insomnia and debilitating depression. Recalling some of those events he said it was like it just happened yesterday and the thoughts of those difficult times often overwhelmed him. Just an hour later after experiencing the rewind he could think about those hard times without any anxiety.’ PTSD can be the cornerstone that locks anxiety and depression in place PTSD often goes undiagnosed as it has many guises. The effect of trauma can vary from full-blown depression, flash backs, avoidant behavior and high level’s of agitation, to low mood and mild anxiety. The British Medical Associations criteria for PTSD and phobia’s is complex but even if not medically diagnosed, many people with the above symptoms will find symptoms lifting after being treated with the rewind technique. Read more »
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Class of 2010 pass with flying colours
A few weeks ago our 2010 students’ final exam had to be postponed due to the constraining weather conditions, how gutting was that? Or were those students secretly pleased with the extra revision time? Either way they have all done well. Like proud parents Sally Ann and I are happy to say they have all passed. They had their results today so its our guess there will be a few corks popped tonight. From a new Mum who gave birth in January to a retired sea captain their results are richly deserved, as without exception each one of them have worked their wee socks off. If ever I was to question my decision to set up this diploma I don’t need to go further than the experience of today. For in my own quiet moment of reflection I know that there are a a few more really capable, safe effective therapists out there who will bring long lasting change to people’s lives – Oh I best raise a glass to them myself. My toast to them would be ‘limitations are just a product of the imagination.’ – I am proud of you all.
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Weight Watchers dump outdated Calorie Counting – at last!
When I read that Weight Watchers were abandoning the traditional method of calorie counting, I did a dance in my local café. The traditional programme of fat and calorie restriction is to be replaced in favour of a point’s based system. According to Grocer magazine, the international dieting giant said it was adopting the ‘ProPoints’ system because ’science had moved on’ and the previous style of calorie-counting had been proven to be inaccurate and ‘outdated’, reports the Daily Mail. The new plan will centre on the amounts and types of protein, carbohydrate, fibre and fat in food, rather than its fat and calorie content. The plan will also ‘allow’ a few extra points so that dieters can have a couple of drinks or puddings on a night out. These moves are all a step in the right direction but I doubt that they will make much difference to the depressing statistics that show most diets end in failure. So why do so many people fall off the dieting band wagon or pile the weight back on after they have worked so hard to loose it? Could it be because our human frame responds to so much more than just reducing food to a numerical value? What about the psychological factors? After years of working with people who want to lose weight I recognize there are many things that lead to an unhealthy attitude to food. Sometimes it is those unhelpful habits learnt in childhood from well meaning adults. People also use food like a drug to sedate, cheer or silence difficult feelings. Address the things that make someone eat compulsively What ever the psychological reason for over eating if it is not addressed any diet will eventually fail. The driving force behind these inner compulsions destroys logical intention and will power. Life becomes a battle against will and strong emotions, making a dieter feel a lack of control and low in confidence. Diets make people miserable Have you ever set out to achieve something and felt de-motivated before you have got out of the starting blocks? That’s what most dieters tell me, and is that suprising? Starting off on a period of deprivation, forced to concentrate more on something they are already obsessed about. Is it a wonder that dieters struggle? Oh I can feel a rant coming on so have decided to write an article and self help tips to get over some sensible ways of loosing and maintaining weight.
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Start preparing for those New Year’s resolutions now
In February I saw a stream of clients who were down hearted because they had failed to keep their New Year’s resolutions. Unable to reach their goal, they had come for support to stop smoking, loose weight, focus more and get fit – all the usual things that we promise to do and then don’t. Not one of them had prepared or put anything in place to help them along the way, its like cooking. If we want a good meal we have to shop, prepare, cook and dish the food up. Imagine this, you have an idea to cook something that you really fancy. You phone a few friends and go into detail about what you are going to cook, even invite them around on the allotted date. You get excited about the fun you are going to have and how much you are going to enjoy the results of your efforts. On said date you go into the kitchen to create this wonderful meal but only then you realize that you do know how to make the dish, have no recipe, few of the ingredients, and no bowls in which to put the food in the oven. And what’s more you don’t understand why you can’t have that lovely meal without ingredients, recipe, utensils and knowledge ! Yes that’s the scenario for most people who set themselves goals and don’t think them through and put in time for the physical preparation. So how can you best make sure that your New Years resolutions will stand the best chance of succeeding? Well you can start with asking yourself a few questions:- Is what you want to achieve SMART? Is your goal Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and do you need to put some timings on what you have to do in order to achieve it? Setting a goal of loosing 10kg in two months, or going to the gym three nights may not be possible in reality. Likewise you might feel that something is really what you want but if you had it would it really make you happy or bring feelings of accomplishment? Set time aside before Christmas Think though What is your driving force behind you wanting your goal? Are you doing it for yourself or someone else? You stand a better chance of achieving your goal if it is something that evokes meaning and positive emotion in you. How will your life look when you achieve your goal? Take a moment to relax and imagine what life would be like when you have got what you think you want. Imagine getting up in the morning and go through a whole day – how are you feeling? Notice the changes in you and what a day in life of that future you might look like. Research how you can best achieve your goal. There are many ways to loose weight and get fit. You may think that you know how to but if you have tried your method before and struggled
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Hypnosis workshop in Devon and Brighton: what delegates enjoy the most
Just confirmed our first hypnosis workshop in Devon. Our weekend ‘Learn Hypnosis to Help Yourself and Others’ has just run in Brighton university and two more people signed up for our 2011 Hypnotherapy diploma which starts in February. Having run hypnosis workshops for ten years I find the knowledge that delegates are blown away with and comment on the most are:- An understanding that the hypnotic state is not something that people just experience on stage or in a therapy session but is a central part of human psychology. In fact if we did not go into the hypnotic state then we would go quite nuts! The hypnotic state is akin to the REM state (rapid eye movement). It is the brain wave phase where we lay down new templates of behaviour – so it makes sense to use it when we want to change unwanted patterns. You can learn a natural way of taking yourself or others into hypnosis, that helps you work hypnotically with anyone without having to rely on a script. I have often had people say to me ‘I just can’t empty my mind so I just find it so hard to relax.’ Well I would too if I tried to make my mind blank! The students just love learning how to get a deep relaxation response even whilst their mind may be flitting about from the weekly shop to Christmas with the in laws. You can learn a hypnotic technique that helps you access the helpful qualities or experiences you have had and regenerates the power behind that so you can use it again and again. How an understanding of the hypnotic state can help demystify some weird human behaviour like addictions and psychosis And how a knowledge of the basic human needs can be instrumental in highlighting what needs to change in order to feel on track and happy Devon here we come! We will be in Exeter January 8th and 9th. Brighton hypnosis course January 15th and 16th. Learn ways to make those resolutions easy to keep – Great way to start the New Year.
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